ivanka trump nude

quit yer bitchin' #48

what kate hudson has 2 look forward 2

like mother like daughter, right? so if that's true, mom goldie hawn must be scarin' off kate hudson's squeezes by the truckload.

(goldie hawn looks like granny from beverly hillbillies? damn, are we gettin' old.)

land of the lost

back in 1974, we had nightmares featuring hissing sleestak and their hungry, unseen god. some of us had other dreams about 'land of the lost', too - dreams that involved holly marshall and her rapidly developing bustline. but i digress.

people tend to either like or loathe will ferrell. we usually fall in the first category, and his riff on sleestak, zarns, and pakuni stands on its own about as well as any of his films have (with the exception of a pointless, protracted bit about hallucinogenic fruit and homosexuality). in the end, though, 'land of the lost' only makes us more interested in digging up dvd's of the original series. (and hey, will - would some cameos from the original cast members have hurt?).

oh, and anna friel, who plays a version of holly in the flick, looks like this without her clothes.

2 out of 5 doomy's.

if you looked like this, how much shit would YOU put up with?

now here's the truth: it doesn't matter what you look like.

hell, it doesn't even matter if you're male or female.

rule #1: don't put up with shit from anybody, period.

where the heck is drew barrymore?

after a long line of a-list starring roles and production credits, hollywood's former bad girl seems to have faded into the background, with recent work spaced out & of an ensemble bent. what's up with that? drew, we're not tired of you yet, we promise.

michelle trachtenberg

anyone seen michelle trachtenberg lately?

avril lavigne

dear avril: you are not pink. hell, even pink's not pink, so quit trying to be.

and no matter what carefully constructed, audience-attracting persona your record company comes up with for you to wear, never forget that you originally got into the biz as a country singer - a fact that you might not want your fans to know.

angie vs. jen

in the war between a. jolie & j. aniston, each has their weapons. angie uses words. how... quaint.
jen, on the other hand, uses her natural hotness & complete lack of alien dna to remind msr. pitt of exactly what he's missing.
which, as it turns out, is quite a lot.

gillian anderson

gillian anderson is acerbic, intelligent, funny, beautiful, and tied forever in our minds to a single character.

that's the worst part of being a successful tv star: because you're successful, all of your potential gets squished into a pigeonhole. then you get dumped.

gillian, there's only one way out: marry us.

the c list

as part of our continuing holiday flesh-fest, we bring you the ladies whose first or last names begin with the letter 'c'.

	a lot of people don't realize that cameron diaz isn't a natural blonde, despite the ethnic name and wide cheekbones. do you think her baby blues are real?
	contrary to the cali chic notion of wearing see-through tops, claire danes seems to have a thing for wearing tops with wide, open collars & bending over at the drop of a hat - perhaps to prove that she does, indeed, have breasts.
	christina ricci's breasts. we have no idea what the bird's about. is it the blue bird of happiness? 'cause seein' these sure makes us happy.
	charlotte church isn't quite our speed, but we've heard that she's popular amongst the diva fanset, and where there are diva festishists there are those that we hope will gladly purchase some fine else-wear in exchange for a topless image of her. do it. do it now.
	chloe sevigny is the complete package: a consummate actress, and beautiful in an intriguing, plain jane way. unfortunately, even all this time later, we can't get over the fact that she blew vincent gallo (on screen, no less).

time for the b skins

continuing our holiday celeb-fest: bijou (what the hell kind of a name is that?) phillips...

billie (doctor who) piper...

bridget fonda...


and britney (ain't water in that cup) spears...

a spoonful of sugar

here at elsewhen, we pride ourselves on showing you things you didn't even know you wanted to see.

for example: mary poppins' ta-ta's.

(yeah, they're underwired and not that interesting. so what? the fact that they exist at all is proof that not even disney can keep a good rack down.)

pink

whether you like her music or not, pink talks the talk and walks the walk, as demonstrated by the fresh nipple piercing.

not exactly senator's wife material, but the kind of girl kissinger would've liked, back in his prime.

speaking of filling stockings...

bowing to our traditional holiday tradition of slipping you some celebrity skin, we humbly present the finer sides of amy smart...
...anne hathaway...
...ashley tisdale...
...and avril lavigne.

helena bonham carter

watching sweeney todd, our favorite musical, it occurs to us that helena bonham carter is an extremely gifted actress & singer. so she's married to director tim burton yet lives next door to him - we've all got our little eccentricities. plus she looks like this without clothes on.

emma watson

aside from the danger of being typecast from appearing in a giga-grossing film franchise, we have just one minor bit of advice for uk girl emma watson: when you're best known for children's films & plan to be in a few more, it's probably best not to go out on the town in see-through knickers.

(merry christmas, fanboys.)

petra memcova

ladies & gentlemen, may we present ms. petra memcova, just because we like saying her name.

say it with us: petra memcova.

(no kidding: we don't even know what she does. besides look this good, that is.)

natalie portman

natalie portman has at least two talents that we can see:

first, she is an incredibly gifted actress, not afraid to take on anything from childrens' fantasies and politically incorrect morality tales to ultraviolent age-inappropriate epics...
second, she can look good even when wearing a toilet seat cover...
...a trash bag...
...or stevie nicks' hand-me-downs.

marcia marcia marcia!

if you flipped when the (later disproven) rumor that little cindy brady became a porn star came out, you'd better sit down.

maureen mccormick, (tv's marcia brady) reveals in a new book that she had a nasty cocaine habit, family history of syphilis, three abortions, and traded sex for drugs.

(we know - we totally missed out on all that sweet brady action, too. but look at it this way: there's always lindsay lohan. or nicole richie, tara reid, winona - nicknamed 'wanna' - ryder, bijou phillips, natasha lyonne, evan rachel wood, heather graham, heather locklear, mena suvari...)