sequels are hard. still, there was every reason to expect that hellboy 2 would be a terrific film.based on characters we already know & like, from a screenwriter/director of considerable talent that not only gets the characters, but who helmed the flick that started the franchise, it looked like the pre-bat summer favorite. based on current box office - and despite the fact that it was made for less money than the original film, as well as because it was made for less - hellboy will turn out to be a good money maker for its new studio. there are just a couple of things we don't like about it. they all come down to one thing: a mediocre script.
this is especially disappointing given that guillermo del toro, the aforementioned writer/director, also brought us pan's labyrinth and mimic - two terrific, genre-busting films. so what happened?
the story feels rushed, the dialogue has no conviction or (original, rather than cliche) sound bytes, giving the actors little to work with. the humor feels forced, the first film better portrayed the feelings that the characters have for each other and for their situation, and - horror of horrors - there are fight scenes without rhyme or reason.
look, we know that hellboy, on one level, is about a good brawl every bit as much as hulk is, but at least give us a reason (rather than a pathetic excuse) for the big red palooka to haul out five-fingered mary. there's even a gratuitous scene where hellboy is hauling a baby around while climbing the signage on a tall building and trying to avoid becoming monster chow, when there was absolutely no reason for him to still have the kid at all.
there are some rewards: watching red and abe sapien get drunk on tecate while singing along to barry manilow is priceless, and the creatures that del toro, mignola, and barlowe have come up with are beautiful and imaginative (with the exception of the elves, which look like a re-working of jeremy irons' morlock make-up in the time machine). but there are an equal number of disappointments, such as how new bprd team member johann strauss and jeffrey tambor are completely wasted, turned into mere cardboard cutouts, when their comic book incarnations have more life and depth to them.
think about that a minute: the comic book characters have more depth than the movie characters. with a cast this terrific and a director this talented. wtf?
maybe we're just jaded. we kid you not: a solo 60-something grandmother sat in the seat in front of us and laughed at all the jokes - even the sloppy ones - and afterwards said how much she enjoyed it, despite probably not being included in the film's target audience.
it's got us worried about the hobbit, guillermo's next outing (with the blessing of lord of the rings director peter jackson, who will serve as producer), when we weren't before. does this dip in quality in the hellboy film line mean that the comics will also be allowed to decline in quality? comics of quality are almost impossible to find, these days, let alone ones that dip into so many cultures and mythologies, and with such a well-written cast (don't even get us started on mike mignola's art; we'll be here all day).
that would truly be a shame. hopefully mignola, hellboy's creator, has taken note of more than his paycheck. and maybe he can convince himself - and publisher dark horse - to allow a script based on some of the comic material. 'cause we'd definitely pay to see big red in the jet pack on the big screen.
you listenin', mike?