in case you missed the first 5 years of elsewhen, we have a special place in our hearts for anyone that kills kids. we derive a great deal of pleasure thinking of creative ways to express our affection to these worthy folks. some past bits of whimsy: setting them on fire via a slowly turned rotisserie, eyes scooped out with melon-ballers, testicles removed via the mouth... you get the idea. anyway, we got to thinking: why should we have all the fun? so we threw up a new survey for you to decide how our latest american idol should end his days.this fellow lives in vt and faked emails and whatnot to make it look like his 12-year-old niece, brooke bennett, met a stranger online and subsequently disappeared. instead, it turns out that he recruited her (and at least one other underage girl) to be sex slaves. his niece recently turned up dead, buried in a shallow grave near his house. the girl's stepfather is also implicated.
anyway, enjoy the survey, and please feel free to suggest anything that we may have missed. (some folks have said it's poor taste to suggest ways for people to die in fun. we want you to know that we would never do this. as far as we're concerned, any means of death that we come up with is too good for anyone that hurts a kid. we truly wish that the death penalty was mandatory in these cases, and that we really did get to decide how. what a wonderful world that would be.)